I just read André Leon Talley’s memoir The Chiffon Trenches. Sorry, no. I didn’t read it. He read it to me, which was even better. The audiobook is narrated by ALT himself, and listening to it was one of the coziest experiences I’ve had in a while.
With the MET Gala a few weeks away, and this year’s theme being “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style”, Talley is on everybody’s mind even more than usual. Some are hoping that the gala and exhibit are chairwoman Anna Wintour’s love letter to a friend she was famously not on great terms with at the time of his death. Some are expressing their regret that this exhibit didn’t take place during his lifetime, with him as the curator.
André Leon Talley and capital-F Fashion are so inextricably linked in my mind that it was a sincere pleasure to spend time with the human being André in this memoir. In it, he is so honest and generous in his storytelling. Highly recommend.
Here are the lessons I have taken away from my time with it:
Manners (especially Southern ones) are currency.
Politeness, handwritten notes, and showing up for people — these will open more doors than bravado ever could.Foster friendships across generations.
Talley thrived by building relationships with icons older and younger than himself, from Diana Vreeland to Karl Lagerfeld to younger fashion mentees. His life was richer for having friends both younger and older than himself.Give chic, intentional gifts.
A box of marzipan, a beautiful orchid, a well-chosen book — not for show, but as gestures of aesthetic generosity and thoughtfulness. Style isn’t just what you wear, it’s how you give.Grace is a survival tool.
He endured racism, exclusion, and heartbreak, but extending grace to himself (and sometimes to others) allowed him to move forward with dignity.Fashion is armor and theater, but identity is deeper.
The capes, the kaftans, the couture — all served as protection and performance, but his sense of self was deeper than even the most extravagant wardrobe.Know when to make an exit, even from spaces you love.
Talley’s complicated break with Vogue and Wintour is a lesson in recognizing when your value isn’t being honored — and walking away with your head held high.Preserve your history.
He was a great archivist of stories, of Black excellence in fashion, and of his own life. Tell your story before someone else does.Loyalty is powerful, but not always reciprocal.
He gave his loyalty freely — sometimes to people who didn’t deserve it. Love big, but protect your heart.Elegance is attitude.
Whether he was wearing couture or a caftan at home, Talley never let go of elegance as a mindset — one that said, “I matter.”Don’t shrink to fit. Expand to fill the room.
He was often “too much” — too tall, too Black, too expressive, too different. But that’s exactly what made him unforgettable.Have the difficult conversations - ghosting is worse.
Talley’s unresolved fallouts with Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld left him aching. Silence can feel more brutal than conflict. Say the thing. Reach out. End well, if you can.
Be a nerd.
He wasn’t just fabulous — he was studied. Talley knew fashion history inside and out. He cared. Cool can be mercurial — and cruel to us all in her time — but André was steadied by his inarguable merit. Passion, knowledge, specificity: that’s what made him singular.
A man of brio and grace!