Goth For Spring

Character-forward dressing for stupid-forward times

I cancelled my Botox appointment. I want to look as worried as I feel. I’ll probably change my mind ten minutes from now, but until then, I’ll be losing myself in the resplendent furrow of my brow.

If you’re anything like me, you’re feeling a wee bit paralyzed by, you know…everything. You’re constantly checking your phone, praying for the notification saying “Ding! Dong! The witch is dead!” but it’s just your Couch to 5K app suggesting it’s time to “dust off your running shoes.” Your brain feels like Play-Doh left out overnight, so it’s hard to expect that brain to dream up a respectable lewk.

As Ru Paul says, “We’re all born naked and all the rest is drag,” and lately I’ve been feeling like I need a little more drag to enable me to exist comfortably out-and-about in this world. I’m craving more character-based dressing, and so here are some characters I am drawn to.

Goth for Spring

I just read Tish Weinstock’s How to Be a Goth, in which she says that goth has gone mainstream. And is it any wonder?

I loved how she reimaged goth, not just as the rigid subculture as I understood it, but as a fluid, enduring aesthetic and emotional sensibility. Her portrayal of goth offers some solace amidst contemporary anxieties.

I felt inspired by the book to dream up this outfit for scattering my dad’s ashes on the lake he grew up on, but don’t be surprised if you see me wearing it while pushing the cart around the grocery store, or renewing my passport.

Deranged Stepford Wife

There is something kind of pervy about trotting out some trad femininity in strange times, and then fucking it up a little. I’m craving a strong nod to ‘50s domesticity, but by way of Miuccia Prada with the rat’s nest hair and haunted faraway look. She’s overdressed for every occasion and just a little too serene.

Hoodie Up at the Family Gathering

When all else fails, why not try fully retreating into teenage apathy? Hoodie up. Book out. Absolute refusal to participate. It’s giving Billie Eilish at a family function, but the family function is the entire present moment. As Coco Chanel said, “Elegance is refusal,” and I am sure she was talking about not making eye contact with anyone.